This is a poem I wrote a long time ago, when I was actually drunk on rum & Pepsi. I think it actually made my writing a lot better! Lol!
Rum & Pepsi
Half drunk off rum & Pepsi
Walking down streets I remember only vaguely
Like a half-dream, semblance of life only half-seen,
Staring into the leaves until the cold wind on my neck
Bites so hard that it reminds me I’m not dreaming.
Oh no. World’s beginning to turn – maybe now I’ll learn
To tell when enough is past enough,
But I dream of a chance encounter, somewhere here under the flowers
So I can escape the pain of waking life and stagnation and
Escape into the imaginary kiss, the bliss of believing that you
For one second loved me too
Instead of running to the ties that bind and bleed you and lead you
Away from me and eternity
Here I am again, alone, like a rolling stone –
Wherever I leave my coat and shoes is my home.
Wait for darkness to pass, but the good times and happiness
Are doomed never to last
And the loneliness and isolation that controls me, holds me, slow rolls me, knows me –
There ain’t no other way that I can be, under these trees
I wasn’t born under a street lamp, city tramp’s not the way for me
I’ve got to be Leslie or I’m nothing,
Triumphant or I’m falling – cold feelings taking over, fighting the fever
The sun goes down, I feel it now – more than I did when I was running around,
The toxins seeping into my bloodstream
I mean the hero of my dreams – is just a figment brought on by too much caffeine
The only thing that’s real is the chill, to remind me that I’m human and what it means to be
Human is to hurt and deal with suck
And to work through isolation and be your own best friend
Even though deep down you know you’ll never be a supermodel –
They have fluffy hair with highlights and you only
Have a job that bites
And if you’re lucky, some one solitary thing to hold onto,
A life preserver, further from the truth but comforting in what it gives you –
Bloodstream weak but gives you purpose, calming a heart that would be nervous –
Service is never easy – would you believe it?
Even the saints didn’t have free passes, the half is that what is written isn’t real,
Only part-congealed, concealed from the masses and rose-colored glasses won’t discern
The things the looking-glass shows. You see, it knows –
Messages my soul was only half aware of, like what death is
And what I should be scared of –
Remember this, the savior is the part that understands it all, part for whole,
Sum of the indivisible and night-enthralled.
Peace is a poison, to lead you into deception, a false sense of security to make you weaker,
Trust me, I know – the state will not take weakness for an answer,
And blow for blow, it’s better to fight than
Always be wondering how it’d go, if it all went down
And you were left, facing the indispensible moonlight alone,
With warfare and moonlight playing lullabies on your soul.
Back I go, to wait upon the sunset that sun let go by.